So I've been making a lot of changes in my life and I thought it might be good to start xanga to see if it sticks this time. A lot of people update religiously, so I thought I might catch what I was missing this time around.
I've been listening to Radiohead's - Creep a lot lately and it reminds me of the old school. I think I first heard it at UCSD while drugs were the topic of discussion whether you actually used or you didn't. It seems like, so much has changed since then, but I can finally say that I'm happy with the direction my life's going in and it's been so long I can't remember the last time I could honestly say that.
I'm also finally getting my second tat. It took a lot of different things in my life to show me what I'd get to balance my right arm, but it's evident to me now. My right arm has "Endure the Worst" in dark old English, so my left arm is going to say "Love is Patient" in shaded cursive lettering. The whole idea of my body art to do this is because of the fact that I wanted something to offset the tone of my first tattoo. I think the connotations of "Endure the Worst" seem a little dark, so I knew I wanted something more positive on my left arm. It all follows an idea that I've had about myself since I wrote the song "The Balance". I'm half demon, half saint. I have one creased eye, and one without. I only broke my right cheek bone in a fight. I just feel like two people at times, but my new tat will represent the idea of balance within me even if it's just from the perspective of body art.
The reason for "Love is Patient" is because I needed something that consisted of three words similar to the aesthetic structure of "Endure the Worst", but more importantly it's something that I've been on a journey to get myself to apply my whole life. My dad used to always tell me that whenever I felt like life was going to shit in reference to the fact that God (which I doubt the existence of at times) is showing me love by providing me with these experiences, whether good or bad, to learn from and give me the patience necessary to succeed in life. In hindsight, all the fights I've gotten into or all other anti-social behavior really stems from the impatience that steadily snowballed into the person that I had been for the past few years. BUT, with all sincerity I'm getting my focus back and with this focus I've vowed to myself to finish life feeling like I've not only hated, but loved enough to balance off or exceed those dark years.
JG (www.soundclick.com/nerdtron) | 
